Sunday, June 13, 2010

Fatherly advice

My Sunday column:

As a father, it's been my responsibility to impart some wisdom to my children, even if they don't always see it that way.

One of my favorite quotes was attributed to Mark Twain in a 1937 Reader's Digest: "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

I framed the quote and have it on the wall in my study.

So even though it's not always sought, I have shared some advice that I've experienced or learned from others over the years. Such as:

• Don't go into debt for anything other than a house or car, and don't charge anything on a credit card you can't pay off when the bill arrives.

• Create an emergency fund and put it somewhere that's not easy to access.

• Find a job that provides good health care coverage - and keep it.

My children haven't always listened to me, but they know the importance of those things.

So as long as I'm in the advice mode - and in recognition of Father's Day next week and of all the graduations from the past week when those young adults headed out into the cold, cruel world - here are a few others that I've shared and strongly believe:

• Don't lie. Not only because it's wrong, but because you almost always get caught. Even if you don't, you live with the stress of worrying about getting caught.

• Value and protect your reputation. It takes a long time to build it up and a moment to destroy it.

• Do the right thing. It may not always be what you want or the most fun, but it will be the most satisfying.

• Even if you do the right thing, people may lie about you or attack your reputation, but it's still better than being lied about or attacked for doing the wrong thing. And your conscience will be a lot clearer.

• Volunteer. The only way to make things better is to get involved.

• Do things without looking for recognition or credit. Some of the people I admire most never get the recognition they deserve, which makes them even more deserving: Their motivation is genuine.

• Help those less fortunate than yourself. That applies to all but one person at any one time on Earth.

• When you are feeling well or when you are happy, stop for a minute and recognize it. We spend a lot of time dwelling on the times we are sick or unhappy. How often do we stop to bask in the happy or healthy moments?

• Realize that your attitude and frame of mind make a difference in how you view the world and how the world views you.

• Climb a mountain and enjoy the view. It's only when you put the work into the trip that you will fully appreciate what you see.

• Learn to be patient. Sometimes you need to invest a lot of time and effort in what you want, but you'll appreciate it more than things that come quickly and easily.

• Don't consider every obstacle or setback a problem. Instead, consider them opportunities to learn and grow.

• Friends are very important, but when you really need help there is nothing that matters more than family.

• Don't take sports too seriously. For most, it's only a game and should be fun.

• Read. There's not much better than a good book.

• At least once, read the entire Bible. There's no book better than the Good Book.

• Learn to pray.

• Pray. You won't know how important it is until you've experienced it.

• Stand up and speak out for what you believe, but be willing to sit down and listen to what others have to say.

• Listen to your mother. What more do I need to say?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Anniversary album

A few memories of the trip to Cape May for Mom and Dad's anniversary: